What Is Meant by the Rights of Children Over Their Parents?

They are the duties and responsibilities related to protecting and caring for a child, such as establishing the child’s lineage, providing maintenance, offering protection, teaching the religion the child needs to know, and acting justly between the child and siblings. They also include great forms of recommended kindness, such as frequent dua, expressing love, and encouraging goodness.

Not every matter mentioned has the same ruling. Some are obligations whose neglect makes the parents sinful, while others are Sunnahs or strongly emphasized forms of kindness. Details of maintenance, custody, and gifts may also vary with ability, need, and circumstances. Disputes and individual cases should be referred to scholars and the appropriate authorities.

Before Children Arrive: Choosing a Righteous Spouse

Choosing well before marriage is not a right claimed by an already existing child, but it is among the greatest means of protecting the rights of future children because the spouses’ righteousness, religion, and character affect the home and upbringing.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

"A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the woman of religion, may your hands be covered in dust."

Agreed upon: narrated by al-Bukhari (5090) and Muslim (1466).

See How to Choose a Righteous Spouse.

The First Right: Preserving Lineage and Choosing a Good Name

A child has the right to be correctly attributed to the father. The child must not be attributed to someone else, nor may the lineage be hidden or changed for worldly benefit. This does not prevent sponsoring an orphan or caring for a child in need; sponsorship is a great door of goodness, but lineage must be preserved.

Allah Most High says:

{Call them by their fathers; that is more just with Allah. If you do not know their fathers, then they are your brothers in faith and those entrusted to you. There is no blame upon you for what you do by mistake, but only for what your hearts deliberately intend. And Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful} [Al-Ahzab: 5].

The child also has the right to a permissible, good name free from servitude to anyone besides Allah and from ugly or prohibited meanings. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

"The most beloved of your names to Allah are Abdullah and Abd al-Rahman."

Narrated by Muslim (2132).

As for aqiqah, tahnik, shaving the head, and related matters, they include Sunnahs and rulings that are not all obligatory. They are explained in Sunnahs of the Newborn in Islam.

The Second Right: Protecting Life, Health, and Breastfeeding

Parents must protect a child from neglect and danger and provide safe food, care, and permissible medical treatment according to their ability. Necessary treatment must not be abandoned because of superstition or unsafe practices, nor may a child be exposed to infection, dangerous objects, or someone known to cause harm.

Among the Shariah’s care for an infant is Allah’s statement:

{Mothers may breastfeed their children for two complete years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing period. The father must provide for and clothe them according to what is reasonable. No soul is burdened beyond its capacity. Neither a mother nor a father should be made to suffer because of the child, and the heir bears a similar responsibility. If both parents desire weaning through mutual consent and consultation, there is no blame upon them. If you wish to have your children nursed by another, there is no blame upon you when you pay what is due according to what is reasonable. Fear Allah and know that Allah sees all that you do} [Al-Baqarah: 233].

The verse combines breastfeeding, maintenance, consultation, and prevention of harm. If breastfeeding by the mother is impossible or causes recognized harm, she is not burdened beyond her ability. The parents should seek safe, suitable nutrition for the child in consultation with specialists.

The Third Right: Reasonable Financial Maintenance

A child’s maintenance includes food, clothing, housing, treatment, basic education, and reasonable needs according to the father’s ability and the child’s need. As a basic rule, an able father is responsible for his children’s maintenance, and it does not end merely because of divorce or disagreement with the mother.

Hind bint Utbah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a miserly man and does not give me enough for myself and my child unless I take from him without his knowledge. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, replied:

"Take what is reasonably sufficient for you and your child."

Agreed upon: narrated by al-Bukhari (5364) and Muslim (1714).

Spending follows need. A child may require treatment, education, or equipment that a sibling does not need, and meeting that need is not prohibited favoritism. If the father is absent or unable, or a dispute arises over the amount, the matter involves details that should be referred to scholars and the competent court.

The Fourth Right: Mercy and Physical and Emotional Safety

A child needs a home where body and heart are safe, kind words are heard, and mercy and emotional support are found. Mercy is not limited to young children; children need it throughout their stages of growth, although its expression changes.

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, kissed Al-Hasan ibn Ali while Al-Aqra ibn Habis al-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra said: I have ten children and have never kissed any of them. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, looked at him and said:

"Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy."

Agreed upon: narrated by al-Bukhari (5997) and Muslim (2318).

He, peace and blessings be upon him, also said:

"Gentleness is not present in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it disfigures it."

Narrated by Muslim (2594).

The Shariah does not permit parents to insult, belittle, terrify, threaten to abandon, compare a child with siblings in order to break the child, or inflict physical or psychological harm in the name of upbringing. Proper firmness consists of clear rules, good example, supervision, and safe, age-appropriate educational consequences, not anger and revenge.

The Fifth Right: Upbringing Upon Tawheed, Faith, and Worship

The greatest thing parents give their children is knowledge of their Lord and an upbringing upon His Tawheed, love, fear, and hope, and upon following the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. They then teach prayer, the Quran, halal, and haram according to the children’s age and understanding.

Allah Most High says about Luqman:

{And when Luqman said to his son while advising him: O my son, do not associate anything with Allah. Indeed, shirk is a tremendous injustice} [Luqman: 13].

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

"Every child is born upon the fitrah. His parents then make him Jewish, Christian, or Zoroastrian, just as an animal gives birth to a complete animal. Do you perceive any mutilation in it?"

Agreed upon: narrated by al-Bukhari (1358) and Muslim (2658).

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, instructed parents to train children to pray from age seven. Narrated by Abu Dawud (495) and authenticated by al-Albani. Instruction should begin before puberty through gradual teaching, example, and patience. Parents should not wait until a child reaches puberty and then demand what the child was never accustomed to.

For practical detail, see How Can Parents Teach Their Children to Pray?.

The Sixth Right: Beneficial Education and Preparation for Life

A child has the right to learn what is needed in religion and worldly life according to the parents’ ability and circumstances. The child should learn reading, writing, basic hygiene and safety, responsibility, guarding the tongue and property, respecting people, and distinguishing right from wrong.

Differences in children’s abilities and temperaments must be considered. A child should not be required to become a copy of a sibling, nor should success be measured by grades alone. Educational needs may not be neglected because the child is a girl or has an illness or disability. Every child should be assisted according to ability and need.

The Seventh Right: Justice Between Children

Justice between children in gifts is obligatory, and unfair favoritism that creates hostility and breaks hearts is prohibited. Parents should also strive for fairness in treatment, attention, time, and expressions of love within what they control.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

"Fear Allah and be just between your children."

Agreed upon: narrated by al-Bukhari (2587) and Muslim (1623).

Justice does not mean giving every child the same amount in every expense. Maintenance follows need, while additional gifts are subject to the rulings of justice. When a special need exists, a large gift is intended, or conflict is feared, scholars should be consulted before acting.

Girls may not be belittled or presented as less worthy than boys. Inheritance shares are determined by Allah; parents may not change them according to desire, deprive an heir, or use a scheme to invalidate the heir’s right.

For more detail, read Justice Between Children.

The Eighth Right: Protection From Corruption and Exploitation

A child has the right to parental protection from bad company, prohibited content, drugs, financial or sexual exploitation, bullying, and every person or place reasonably expected to cause harm. Protection includes teaching boundaries of the awrah and seeking permission, not allowing unsafe touching, and telling parents about fear or threats without being blamed or disbelieved.

Separating children in their beds at age ten is from the Sunnah, as stated in the hadith of Abdullah ibn Amr, may Allah be pleased with them both, narrated by Abu Dawud (495). Supervision of devices and internet use should be responsible and age-appropriate, build trust, and not leave a child in a hidden digital world without guidance or protection.

Part of Complete Care: Preserving Dignity and Listening

A child has a personality and dignity and is not merely a dependent who obeys without understanding. Parents should listen, answer questions truthfully in an age-appropriate way, consult the child about matters the child understands, and offer permissible choices that teach responsibility.

This does not mean granting every desire or eliminating parental authority to guide. Parents combine mercy with clear boundaries and listening with preventing what causes harm.

Making Dua for Children and Not Against Them

Among the greatest forms of parental kindness is making dua for children’s guidance, righteousness, beneficial knowledge, and good character. Among the supplications of the servants of the Most Merciful is:

{Our Lord, grant us from our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us leaders for those of taqwa} [Al-Furqan: 74].

Parents are prohibited from carelessly supplicating against their children in anger. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

"Do not supplicate against yourselves, your children, or your property, lest you coincide with a time when Allah is asked for a gift and He answers you."

Narrated by Muslim (3009).

Children’s Rights Do Not End With Their Parents’ Divorce

If the parents separate, the child’s rights to maintenance, care, education, safety, and connection with both parents remain. A child may not be used for revenge, made to carry hostile messages, have one parent disfigured in the child’s heart, or be denied an established right merely because of anger toward the other parent.

The standard for custody and visitation is the child’s welfare and prevention of harm according to Shariah, not merely the desire of either parent. Because details of custody, travel, and visitation vary by age, circumstances, and country, disputes should be presented to a trustworthy scholar and competent court, not decided through arguments or secretly taking the child.

See Child Support and Custody After Divorce.

How Can Parents Fulfill Their Children’s Rights in Practice?

1. Repair their relationship with Allah and present a truthful example in prayer and character.
2. Provide food, housing, treatment, and education according to ability and need.
3. Set aside regular device-free time for conversation and listening.
4. Gradually teach Tawheed, prayer, the Quran, and manners.
5. Establish a few clear, age-appropriate rules and apply them calmly and consistently.
6. Prevent insults, shouting, threats, and violence inside the home.
7. Act justly between children while considering each child’s needs.
8. Supervise companions, digital content, and education without neglect or pointless spying.
9. Seek trustworthy medical or educational help when a problem arises that they cannot properly address.
10. Make frequent dua and correct their mistake if they have fallen short or acted unjustly.

Common Mistakes That Neglect Children’s Rights

1. Caring for food and clothing while neglecting Tawheed, prayer, and character.
2. Treating financial support or gifts as substitutes for presence and mercy.
3. Shouting, insulting, and threatening in the name of firmness.
4. Making hurtful comparisons between siblings or favoring some without right.
5. Leaving devices and unrestricted content without supervision.
6. Ignoring a child’s complaint about fear, bullying, or unsafe touching.
7. Supplicating against children when angry.
8. Contradicting through parental conduct what the parents command.
9. Using a child in conflict after divorce.
10. Depriving a daughter or son of education, maintenance, or inheritance without right.

Related Articles

• Sunnahs of the Newborn in Islam
• Raising Children in Islam
• How Can Parents Teach Their Children to Pray?
• Justice Between Children
• Child Support and Custody After Divorce