The Rights of Children Over Their Parents
All praise is for Allah, Lord of the worlds, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his companions.
Just as parents have great rights over their children, children also have established rights over their parents. The Shari'ah has explained and protected these rights because it is built upon justice, mercy, and giving everyone their due. When parents fulfill these rights properly, the child is raised upon uprightness, the family becomes stronger, and society benefits.
This topic is understood according to the way of Ahl al-Sunnah wa al-Jama'ah, based on the Book of Allah, the Sunnah of His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم, and the understanding of the Companions رضي الله عنهم and the righteous early generations.
Allah says: "O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire." [Surah At-Tahrim 66:6]
This verse is a great foundation for the obligation of caring for one's family, teaching them, disciplining them, and protecting them from the causes of destruction.
What is meant by the rights of children over their parents?
It means the responsibilities that parents must fulfill toward their children in terms of kindness, care, education, upbringing, fairness, mercy, and protecting their religion, character, mind, and well-being as much as possible.
Raising children is not limited to food and clothing. It is a broad trust that includes religion, character, knowledge, and conduct.
One of the earliest rights: making a righteous choice
Among the earliest rights of children is that a father and mother should make a righteous choice before marriage, because a sound home begins with righteous spouses.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Choose one of religion, may your hands be rubbed with dust." Agreed upon.
When a home is built upon religion and good character, that is more likely to lead to the uprightness of the children.
The child's right to a good lineage and a good name
Among the rights of a child is to be attributed to the father correctly and to be given a good name that does not carry an ugly or harmful meaning.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to change bad names into better ones, and this shows that names matter and that the Shari'ah took this into consideration.
Among the beloved names are those that express servitude to Allah, such as Abdullah and Abd al-Rahman, as well as names that are good in meaning and sound in wording.
The right to care and financial support
A child has the right to financial support and care according to need and ability, including food, clothing, housing, treatment, and other necessities.
This is part of the responsibility Allah placed upon parents, and it is not permissible for them to neglect it.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock." Agreed upon.
The father is a guardian in his home and responsible for his children, and the mother is also a guardian in her husband's home and responsible for her children.
The right to be raised upon tawhid and faith
The greatest right children have over their parents is that they be raised upon tawhid, reverence for Allah, love for the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, and the foundations of the religion.
Allah says about Luqman: "And when Luqman said to his son while advising him: O my son, do not associate anything with Allah." [Surah Luqman 31:13]
This is the beginning of sound upbringing: planting tawhid, warning against shirk, and teaching the child who his Lord is, why he was created, and what Allah's right over him is.
The right to teaching and discipline
Among the rights of children is that they be taught what benefits them in their religion and worldly life, and that they be disciplined in good manners and Islamic conduct.
Among the greatest things they should be taught are:
prayer
truthfulness
trustworthiness
respect toward parents
respect for people
manners of eating and dressing
guarding the tongue
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Command your children to pray when they are seven years old." Narrated by Abu Dawud and graded sound by scholars.
This shows that it is part of the child's right to be raised upon prayer from an early age and to be helped upon obedience before reaching maturity.
The right to mercy and gentleness
It is a mistake for some people to think that parenting can only be done through constant harshness. The original basis in parenting is mercy and gentleness, with firmness when needed.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was the most merciful of people toward children and the best of them in manners and teaching.
Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه reported that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم kissed al-Hasan ibn 'Ali, and al-Aqra' ibn Habis said: "I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them." The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy." Agreed upon.
The right to fairness between children
Fairness between children is one of the greatest rights, whether in gifts, treatment, or outward expressions of affection, as much as fairness can be maintained.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Fear Allah and be just between your children." Agreed upon.
Unjust preference creates jealousy, breaks hearts, harms the relationship between siblings, and may even lead to disobedience and conflict.
The right to protection from corruption
Among the child's rights over the parents is that they protect him from the causes of misguidance and corruption, keep him away from bad company, forbidden media, harmful content, and anything that damages his religion and character.
In our time, this matter is even more important because of the many influences and the ease of access to harmful things.
The right to dua
Making dua for children is one of their rights over their parents, because a parent's dua for their child is one of the means of righteousness and success.
Parents should often ask Allah to grant their children guidance, righteousness, beneficial knowledge, good character, and firmness upon the religion.
How can parents fulfill these rights in practice?
Setting aside daily time to speak with the children.
Teaching them Quran, adhkar, and prayer.
Following up on their school life, friends, and behavior.
Combining mercy with firmness.
Avoiding shouting and humiliation.
Rewarding and encouraging good behavior.
Being fair between them in gifts and treatment.
Common mistakes in raising children
focusing on food and clothing while neglecting faith-based upbringing
leaving children with devices and unrestricted content without supervision
making hurtful comparisons between siblings
frequently making dua against one's children in anger
contradicting one's own words through bad personal example
neglecting prayer or being careless about it in front of children
Frequently Asked Questions About the Rights of Children
Is spending on children alone enough to fulfill their rights?
No. Financial support is only part of the right. They also have the right to education, upbringing, mercy, guidance, fairness, and attentive care.
Is it allowed to favor some children over others in gifts?
The basic rule is that parents must be fair between their children. One child should not be favored over another except for a valid reason recognized by the Shari'ah, while avoiding injustice and wrongdoing.
What is the first thing a child should be taught?
The first thing that deserves the greatest care is teaching tawhid, reverence for Allah, love for Islam, then prayer, manners, and good character.
What should parents do if they fell short in the past?
They should repent to Allah, correct what they can, and begin from now to fix their course. The door of reform remains open, and Allah helps the one who is truthful with Him.
Conclusion
The rights of children over their parents are a great trust and a serious responsibility, and they are among the matters about which a person will be asked on the Day of Judgment. Success in parenting is not measured by wealth or words alone, but by sincere reliance upon Allah, sound upbringing, frequent dua, patience, and consistency.
So strive to raise your children upon religion and good character, fulfill their rights with fairness, mercy, and wisdom, and know that righteous children are among the greatest blessings Allah can give a servant in this world and the next.