عربي

 Raising Children in Islam

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his companions.

Raising children in Islam is one of the greatest trusts placed upon parents. It is a noble act of worship and a serious responsibility. It is not simply about providing food, clothing, and worldly education. Rather, it is about helping shape a Muslim human being who knows his Lord, develops good character, fulfills his duties, and becomes beneficial to himself, his family, and his community.

Allah Most High says: {O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire} [al-Tahrim: 6].

This verse is a great foundation in showing the obligation of raising children upon what saves them from the Fire and brings them closer to obedience to Allah.

What is meant by raising children?

Raising children means nurturing them upon correct faith, worship, good character, Islamic manners, and beneficial knowledge for their religion and their worldly life, all with mercy, fairness, and wisdom.

Islamic upbringing is therefore comprehensive. It includes creed, worship, behavior, learning, discipline, and relationships.

Why is raising children so important?

Because children are a trust in the hands of their parents. Their righteousness is among the greatest blessings, while their corruption is among the greatest trials. The family is the first school in which a child learns the meanings of faith, character, language, and behavior.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock." Agreed upon.

The father is a shepherd, the mother is a shepherd, and both will be questioned before Allah about this trust.

What should children be raised upon first?

Among the first matters that deserve care are:

  • tawhid and reverence for Allah

  • love for the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم

  • reverence for the Quran

  • truthfulness and trustworthiness

  • prayer

  • good manners with parents

  • awareness that Allah sees in private and in public

Allah says: {And when Luqman said to his son while advising him: O my son, do not associate anything with Allah} [Luqman: 13].

Luqman's upbringing began with tawhid and warning against shirk, and this is the greatest thing with which a child should begin.

Teaching by example

One of the strongest means of upbringing is for a child to see his parents living by what they say. When words are supported by action, they enter the heart with strength. But when a child sees a contradiction between words and actions, the effect of instruction becomes weak.

If parents want righteous children, they must begin with themselves:

  • being committed to prayer

  • speaking truthfully

  • showing good manners in dealing with others

  • staying away from insults and shouting

  • honoring the symbols of Allah

Teaching children prayer

Prayer is one of the greatest things children should be raised upon, because it is the pillar of the religion and one of the first outward actions that connects the child to Allah.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Command your children to pray when they are seven years old." Reported by Abu Dawud and classed as sound by scholars.

It is wise for parents to teach prayer gently, get children used to it, encourage them, and connect it to the love of Allah, not to bare fear alone.

Raising children upon character and manners

Character is not a secondary matter in Islamic upbringing. It is part of the heart of the religion.

Among the most important traits to plant in children are:

  • truthfulness

  • modesty

  • respect for elders

  • mercy toward the young

  • guarding the tongue

  • asking permission

  • trustworthiness

  • keeping promises

All of this requires repetition, teaching, practical guidance, and long patience.

Mercy and gentleness in upbringing

The foundation of upbringing is mercy and gentleness, not constant harshness, humiliation, or belittling.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy." Agreed upon.

Gentleness does not mean the absence of firmness, just as firmness does not mean oppression or cruelty. A successful parent combines mercy with discipline.

Justice between children

Among the most important foundations of sound upbringing is fairness between children in treatment, gifts, and attention, as much as the parents are able.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Fear Allah and be just between your children." Agreed upon.

Favoring one child over another without a valid reason plants resentment, breaks hearts, and harms the relationship between siblings.

Protecting children from harmful influences

In our time, it is especially important for parents to protect their children from bad company, corrupt content, excessive attachment to devices, and everything that weakens religion or harms character.

Mere prohibition is not enough. Children must also be given beneficial alternatives:

  • righteous companionship

  • Quran and remembrance

  • beneficial activities

  • family gatherings

  • ongoing conversation

How can parents raise their children in practical ways?

Among the beneficial practical steps are:

  1. Setting aside daily time for the children.

  2. Teaching them adhkar, prayer, and manners gradually.

  3. Praising and encouraging good behavior.

  4. Correcting mistakes calmly.

  5. Setting clear boundaries in the home.

  6. The father and mother agree on a reasonably consistent parenting approach.

  7. Frequently making dua for the righteousness of the children.

Common mistakes in raising children

  • being too busy for children and leaving their upbringing to devices or school alone

  • constant harshness and shouting

  • complete lenience and lack of discipline

  • contradiction between the guidance of the father and the mother

  • focusing only on academic success while neglecting faith and character

  • constant comparison between children or with other people

Is love alone enough in raising children?

Love alone is not enough, just as severity alone does not work. What is needed is love with guidance, mercy with firmness, encouragement with follow-up, so that the child's personality grows in a balanced way.

Frequently asked questions about raising children

What is the first thing I should begin with when teaching my child?

Begin by teaching your child love and reverence for Allah and grounding them in tawhid, then gradually get them used to adhkar, prayer, and good manners.

Is it permissible to hit a child for discipline?

The foundation in upbringing is gentleness. Physical discipline is not turned to except in the narrowest limits, with Islamic guidelines, after other methods of correction have been exhausted, and never with ظلم or humiliation.

How should I deal with children becoming overly attached to devices?

This should be handled through measured reduction, clear time limits, beneficial alternatives, and active parental follow-up and conversation.

What is one of the greatest causes behind righteous children?

Among the greatest causes are the righteousness of the parents themselves, abundant dua, good example, and continual upbringing upon faith and character.

Conclusion

Raising children in Islam is a great door from the doors of worship and reform. It is a long-term project that requires patience, wisdom, dua, and good example. What is required is not perfection, but sincerity in taking the means, seeking Allah's help, and continuing to reform.

So strive to make your homes places of faith, mercy, and good manners, and let your children see Islam in your character before they hear it in your words. One of the greatest things a person leaves behind is a righteous child who makes dua for them and lives upon goodness.