Honoring ParentsThe Status of the Father in Islam
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and companions.
The father has a great status and a major right in Islam. After Allah, he is a cause of the child’s existence. He is a shepherd and is responsible; he spends, protects, guides, raises, and carries many burdens of life to preserve his home and children.
{وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا}Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, and show excellence to parents. [An-Nisa 4:36]
{وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا}Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show excellence to parents. [Al-Isra 17:23]
Parents' RightThe Father’s Right Is Part of the Right of Parents
The father is included in the many texts that command honoring parents, showing excellence to them, lowering the wing of humility for them, and making dua for them.
{وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا}Lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: My Lord, have mercy upon them as they raised me when I was small. [Al-Isra 17:24]
The father raised, spent, carried the concern of the home, and strove for the interests of his children. Faithfulness requires that this be met with kindness and honoring.
Gate of ParadiseThe Father Is a Gate from the Gates of Paradise
The Prophet ﷺ said:
The father is the middle gate of Paradise. So if you wish, lose that gate, or preserve it.
Narrated by At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah; authenticated by scholars.
This hadith shows the greatness of the father’s right and that honoring him is a tremendous gate of goodness and Paradise.
Practical BirrForms of Honoring the Father
- Respecting and honoring him.
- Speaking gently to him.
- Serving him when he needs help.
- Asking about him and caring for him.
- Not raising one’s voice at him.
- Bringing happiness to him.
- Spending on him if he needs it and the child is able.
- Making dua for him.
- Consulting him in suitable matters.
- Maintaining ties with his relatives and friends after his death when possible.
Old AgeHonoring the Father in Old Age
One of the greatest forms of honoring is showing excellence to the father when he grows old and weak, because this is when his need for gentleness, patience, service, and kind speech becomes stronger.
May his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust. It was said: Who, O Messenger of Allah? He said: The one who reaches his parents in old age, one or both of them, and does not enter Paradise.
Narrated by Muslim.
The presence of the father in old age is a tremendous opportunity for birr. It is serious neglect for a child to see his father’s weakness and need, then respond with harshness, neglect, or annoyance.
- Being patient with his weakness and repeated needs.
- Visiting him, asking about him, and not becoming too busy for him.
- Helping him with his affairs as much as possible.
- Addressing him with noble speech.
- Caring for him financially and medically if he needs it and the child is able.
- Making dua for him during his life and after his death.
ObedienceObeying the Father in What Is Right
Obeying the father is obligatory in what is right, especially when there is clear benefit and no sin, injustice, or harm follows from it.
Obedience is only in what is right.
Agreed upon.
If the father commands sin, he is not obeyed in sin, but his right to kindness and excellence remains.
{وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا}If they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, but accompany them in this world with kindness. [Luqman 31:15]
This is an important principle: the fall of obedience in sin or harm does not mean the fall of birr. The child apologizes politely, explains as much as possible, and avoids turning disagreement into disobedience or insult.
After MarriageThe Father’s Right After the Son or Daughter Marries
Marriage does not remove the father’s right, just as it does not remove the mother’s right. It is not permissible for a husband or wife to prevent the other from honoring and maintaining ties with the father in what is right.
Islam came with justice. A child should not make honoring his father a reason to wrong his wife or neglect his children’s rights, and a wife should not make her right a reason to cut her husband off from his father. Rights should be given as much as possible, with wisdom and gentleness.
Whoever combines honoring his father with fulfilling the rights of his home has combined two great acts of worship.
Wealth and SupportDoes the Father Have a Right in His Child’s Wealth?
The father has a great right to his child’s kindness and financial support if he is in need and the child is able. The Prophet ﷺ said:
You and your wealth belong to your father.
Narrated by Ibn Majah and authenticated by scholars.
This does not mean the father may take from his child’s wealth unjustly, in a way that harms the child or those he supports, or to give to some children over others without right. Scholars mention that the father’s taking from his child’s wealth is according to what is right, without harm, injustice, or causing family rupture.
The child should honor and support his father when he needs it, and the father should fear Allah regarding the wealth of his child and the child’s family.
ResponsibilityThe Father’s Responsibility in Islam
Just as the father has rights, he also has great duties toward his family and children.
Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock... and the man is a shepherd over his family and responsible for his flock.
Agreed upon.
- Spending according to what is right.
- Teaching children what they need of the religion.
- Commanding them to pray.
- Raising them upon good character.
- Being just between them.
- Protecting them from causes of corruption.
- Showing mercy and gentleness to them.
The father’s status does not mean domination. It means care and fulfilling responsibility.
Part of this responsibility is for the father to be an example in prayer, truthfulness, and good character, because actions affect children more deeply than many words.
It is a mistake for some fathers to understand their status as control or cancellation of their children’s personalities. A father is a shepherd, educator, and guide, not an oppressor or someone who rules by desire. The more he combines dignity with mercy, the stronger and more lasting his effect on his children will be.
Non-Muslim FatherHonoring a Non-Muslim Father
If the father is not Muslim, his right to kindness, excellence, and maintaining ties remains, while the child does not obey him in disbelief or sin.
{وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا}If they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, but accompany them in this world with kindness. [Luqman 31:15]
This verse shows that parents are not obeyed in shirk or sin, yet Allah still commanded accompanying them in this world with kindness.
Major SinThe Danger of Disobeying the Father
Disobeying the father is among the major sins, just as disobeying the mother is among the major sins.
Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents.
Agreed upon, in the mention of major sins.
- Looking down on him or mocking him.
- Raising one’s voice at him.
- Ignoring him when he needs help.
- Leaving financial support when he needs it and the child is able.
- Insulting him in front of people.
- Supplicating against him.
- Showing annoyance toward him in speech or action.
PatienceIf the Father Is Harsh or Neglectful
Some fathers may be harsh or may fall short in some duties. This is painful, but it does not permit disobedience or insult. The child is required to show kindness in what is right while protecting himself from injustice and harm as much as possible.
- Be patient and seek reward.
- Advise gently if possible.
- Do not respond to harm with harm.
- Seek help from wise people when needed.
- Preserve Islamic rights without sin.
After DeathHonoring the Father After His Death
Birr does not end with the father’s death. The door of honoring him remains open.
- Making dua for him.
- Giving charity on his behalf.
- Paying his debts if they exist and the child is able.
- Maintaining ties with his relatives.
- Honoring those he loved when possible.
When a person dies, his deeds come to an end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who supplicates for him.
Narrated by Muslim.
FAQIs the father’s right great like the mother’s right?
Yes. The father’s right is great and is included in the texts about honoring parents. The mother is given priority in good companionship because of what she bears, but this does not reduce the greatness of the father’s right or the obligation to honor him.
FAQMust I obey my father in everything?
He must be obeyed in what is right. As for sin, injustice, or what causes recognized harm, there is no obedience in that, while kindness and good speech remain obligatory.
FAQShould I obey my father if he commands me to wrong my wife or neglect an obligatory right?
The father is not obeyed in injustice, neglecting an obligatory right, or harming the wife or children without right. The son should refuse politely, strive for reconciliation, and preserve his father’s right to kindness and good speech.
FAQMay the father take from his son’s wealth?
The father has a right in his child’s wealth when there is need and according to what is right, as long as it does not harm the child or those he supports and is not injustice or giving some children over others without right. In major financial matters, it is safer to refer to scholars so that no injustice or family rupture occurs.
FAQMust a non-Muslim father be honored?
Yes. His child honors him, treats him well, and accompanies him in this world with kindness, while not obeying him in disbelief or sin, as shown by the verse in Surah Luqman.
FAQMay I raise my voice at my father if he is wrong?
It is not permissible to deal with him through insult or raising the voice. If the father makes a mistake, he should be advised gently and respectfully, with the right time and method chosen carefully.
FAQWhat should I do if my father needs financial support?
If the father is in need and the child is able, spending on him is from birr and from great obligations, according to ability and need.
ConclusionConclusion
The status of the father in Islam is great. Honoring him is a noble act of worship, and disobeying him is among the major sins. Children should fear Allah regarding their fathers, preserve their right of raising, spending, and care, and be eager for good companionship and dua, for birr is among the greatest causes of Allah’s pleasure and a sound life.
